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Our beautiful area offers so much and this list is just a small segment of what Tampa Bay has in store for you this summer.Here are the best ways to spend your summer here in Tampa Bay.

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The shallow man has met many an expat lady that have been on dates with Dutch men that have not led to happy endings.

Several disappointed, international antelope, have asked me where they went wrong in their pursuit of the Dutch lion.

The Netherlands is full of expat men, whose confidence has been shattered due to their experiences in attempting to date Dutch women.

Previously I provided some holiday season advice on dating Dutch women which many of my fellow expats appear to have ignored at their peril.

In an era when elaborate wordplay and adventurous production were the order of the day, Herb Alpert made an impact barely uttering a word or breaking a mold, other than expanding the commercial parameters for pop instrumentalists.

Dashing trumpeter Alpert and his Tijuana Brass scored five top-20 hits between 1962 (when "The Lonely Bull" climbed to No. S.) and 1968 (when the vocal-driven "This Guy's in Love with You" cracked the top 10), racking up five No. The group's patented "Ameriachi" sound made up in south-of-the-border sprightliness what it lacked in innovation; the likes of "Spanish Flea" and "Casino Royale" possessed the kind of unshakable hooks that fit perfectly on top-40 radio sandwiched between Nancy Sinatra and the Mamas & the Papas.

Now this post might upset some, and if as a result I’m grabbed by a group of angry Dutch women, and am taken to my own personal hell, the drie dwaze dagen sale at de Bijenkorf, and am forced to carry their bags while they scream at me “IK ZEG SKINNY JEANS, DIT IS EEN BOOTCUT JIJ IDIOOT.” I’ll say to my enemies, “no need to be so aggressive, I was just telling it like it is.”The things I do for my readers!

As Grandmaster Flash once said in the song White Lines, ‘don’t, don’t, don’t do it! Even after 10 years in the land of deep fried cuisine, I still can’t break the habit of opening doors for women.

The shallow man, is, as always, sensitive to the needs of his expat flock.

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