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For those convinced that they'll find the perfect hookup online however, here's where I'd suggest starting.
When I asked a male friend of mine if they thought Craigslist deserved top ranking on my list of places to find a sexual encounter online, they loudly said, "Are you kidding?! Yea, it works." Almost everyone I've spoken to who has used CL to hookup has had success; those that failed to find what they sought were either rude, exceptionally picky, or ignored my tips below.: Focus on replying to ads rather than posting them, make sure you have a fantastic, recent and clear picture of your face (keep the junk pictures to yourself for now), and share this picture along with a personalized first reply - most gals can spot a copied and pasted response a mile away.
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The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?
Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.
Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).
They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.
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Then, move on to the next ad, and do the same thing.
CL is a numbers game, and you'll have to respectfully answer as many ads as you can, showing exactly how you fit the criteria specified.
For 50-plus types unwilling to walk — possibly rewalk — the path that leads to romance, rings and relocation, the prospect of a "friend with benefits" is looking less and less like a millennial indulgence.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating